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Sending cheap flowers to your girlfriend is an age-old tradition that we don't question. Girl loves flowers. You love girl...and your money. You send cheap flowers to your girlfriend. But when you think about it, it's a strange custom. As you may recall from high school biology class, the flower is the reproductive part of the plant. In essence, it's the plant's genitals. Think about that the next time you stick your nose in a flower. And for some reason, your girlfriend loves it when you have these parts cut off and delivered to her. Perhaps it's a symbol of emotional eunuch you've become for her. Perhaps women just like emasculating vibrant, living things—it's hard to say.
Mysteries of femininity aside, there are a few things that aren't a mystery to the enlightened man. And for everyone else, here are eight simple rules for sending cheap flowers to your girlfriend.
Send Flowers Cheap Rule #1: Send Her Favorite Flower
Most women have a favorite flower. If you know what your girlfriend's favorite flower is, buy that first. If you don't know, here is a list of the most popular flowers. Chances are, her favorite is one of these:
Roses
Orchids
Lillies
Chrysanthemums
Calla Lillies
Daisies
Or use the shotgun approach by sending a mixed bouquet consisting of several of the most popular flowers. She's bound to like at least one of these.
Send Flowers Cheap Rule #2: Send Flowers to Work
Sending flowers to her place of employment is a great way to score points. When she receives these flowers, all her female co-workers will envy her. Because your girlfriend is a girl—one of the most competitive creatures to ever walk the earth—seeing her depressed and lonely co-workers filled with envy will make her very happy.
If you have flowers delivered to work, make sure you send a flower arrangement with a vase. Unless she has a vase fetish, she probably doesn't have a variety of vases in her drawer at work (and if she does, consider it a warning sign).
Send Flowers Cheap Rule #3: Send a Variety of Flowers
Don't just send her favorite flowers over and over again. Everyone loves surprises, and your girlfriend is no exception. Mix it up by sending her different flowers—two or three times more often than you would like. Like your car's regular oil change, as regular girlfriend maintenance to ensure optimal performance, it's a good idea to send flowers every three months or 3,000 miles—whichever comes first.
Different flowers have different meanings. If you need some ideas of what to send as an alternate to her favorite flower, see our guide to "Symbolic Meaning of Flowers."
Send Flowers Cheap Rule #4: Order Flowers Online
It's good to know what you're sending. Order flowers online so you can see the flowers you're sending. It also allows you to browse around to find something you may not have otherwise thought of—helping you with Rule#3.
Send Flowers Cheap Rule #5: Send Roses for Romantic Occasions
Other flowers are great for birthdays or for no reason at all (aka: "just because I like/love you"). But for romantic occasions, only roses will do—which makes your job pretty easy. But be careful about which color rose you send. Different colors have different meanings. See my guide to "Meaning of Rose Colors."
Send Flowers Cheap Rule #6: Send Flowers for No Reason
Sending flowers for no reason will win you more points than sending flowers for a birthday or special occasion. You see, sending flowers when you're supposed to send flowers only keeps you out of trouble. You won't begin to truly score points until you send flowers when she doesn't expect them.
Send Flowers Cheap Rule #7: Don't Just Send Flowers for Her Birthday
Flowers are an easy way to make your girlfriend happy—it's a no-brainer. But women, as you are painfully aware, are complex. If you send flowers with nothing else, she will surely think you either don't care or are not very romantic. Flowers are a great complement to another gift.
You should also know that different flowers, like birthstones, go with different birth months. If you don't want to send roses or her favorite nonrose flower, here is a list of birth months and their corresponding flowers.
January: Carnation
Febuary: Violet
March: Daffodil, Jonquil
April: Sweet Pea
May: Lily of the Valley
June: Rose
July: Larkspur, Delphenium
August: Gladiolus
September: Aster
October: Calendula
November: Chyrsanthemum
December: Narcissus
Send Flowers Cheap Rule #8: Send a Note with Your Flower Order—A Good Note!
When you send flowers to your girlfriend, don't just say, "Happy Birthday! Love, John." The right words will give you so much more bang for your buck. You're spending the money anyway, so you may as well milk your flower order for all it's worth.
Sending cheap flowers is a great way to get out of trouble, stay out of trouble, or score extra points for the next time you get into trouble with your girlfriend. The simple fact that you're sending flowers will bear positive results, but if you're going to spend the time and money, follow these rules to get the most from your efforts.
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