If you're looking for your soul mate, STOP READING NOW! But if you want to know how to write an online dating profile so you can date more girls, and hopefully get more play, read on. You see, most online dating profiles (of both men and women) are really bad, boring, bad, and bad. They make their authors sound like online dating robots! This article describes many of the common mistakes men make in writing their online dating profiles and what they should do about it.
So before we get into a lot of practical tips, let's talk about an overall strategy. Women like to make it sound as though they are all so uniqueeach seeking different things in their ideal man. But if that was the case, why do some guys get a lot more play than others? Because women's taste in men is not as complicated, or as diverse, as they try to make you think. Stop going by what women say and start watching their actions. Trust me, you'll be a lot less confused.
A lot of online dating profiles communicate things you wouldn't want a woman to think about you. Things like vulnerable wussiness, being boring and uncreative, having no drive or assertiveness. Basically, you sound limpnot pimp.
So what do women want? They want many of the same things men do. Your overall strategy should be to communicate four basic traits in your own style:
Fun/Funny: Women want someone with whom it will be fun to hang out. This is best communicated through how you write your profile. Be fun and funny.
Adventurous: Women want someone who is not satisfied with doing the same things all the time. This is best communicated through what you write in your profile.
Confident: Women want someone who is independent and assertive. This is another one of those traits that is communicated through how you write your profile. It's not something you overtly tell someone. It's a way you come across.
Direction: Women want someone who has a career, not a job. They want someone who has a purpose, not hobbies. They want someone who is on his way to something else, something better, and is having a great time along the way.
So be sure that you do a good job of communicating all these things through your description of yourself. Each of the following practical tips can, and probably should, communicate one or more of the traits above. So now, from strategy, we go to the tactical tips.
Online Dating Tip #1: Distinguish Yourself
This one is easy. If you follow all my other tips, you will accomplish this without trying. About 90 percent of all online dating profiles are full of boring, obvious crap that sounds exactly the same:
"I'm an easy-going guy who likes to have fun. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah."
Don't tell people things that are obvious. I mean, c'mon, "I like to have fun"?!?!? Are there people who actually don't like to have fun? If so, they should capture two of them and put them on exhibit at the zoo. Then, the rest of us could watch them, just sitting there watching C-SPAN. Thankfully, they probably wouldn't reproduce in captivity because they don't like to have fun!
Online Dating Tip #2: Show, Don't Tell
Use words to paint a picture as opposed to merely blurting out uninspiring facts about yourself. You may be thinking, "Well, that's pretty obvious. Tell me something I don't already know." But if you spend some time reading a few online dating profiles, you'll find that many guys miss this opportunity. Just by taking this step, you'll stand out from the competition.
Don't just tell women, "My friends would tell you I'm a funny guy." Why should they believe your friends? Maybe your friends are morons. Instead, why don't you actually write something funny? Show them what your sense of humor is like (in ways that women will find entertainingnot your buddies).
Don't just write, "I like to cook." Paint a picture with words. Describe some of the dishes that are your specialties with mouth-watering detail.
Online Dating Tip #3: Play up the PositiveDon't even mention the negative
Don't tell them, "I'm just an average guy. I don't make a lot of money, but [insert lame excuse here]."
This is an easy one: If you don't make a lot of money, don't mention it. If you're not the best looking guy, don't bring it up. Women want to be with a winner, and the cool thing is that you get to make up the rules of the game in which you are a winner. That is to say, if there is something you perceive as a weakness, you should pretend as though it's not important to youand the best way to do that is to not mention it.
Remember: You are selling a productyou. If you were trying to sell a car, you wouldn't say, "It's less powerful than a Ferrari." Even though the car you would be selling probably is. Instead, you'd probably say, "It's a better value than the Honda Accord" or, "It's more roomy, and has more standard features than the Toyota Corolla." Right?
Online Dating Tip #4: Start on the right foot
The beginning of your profile should give the reader a reason to continueor at least not give them a reason to stop reading. But many guys shoot themselves in the foot in the first two or three sentences.
"I can't believe I'm doing this, but here goes. My friends would tell you I'm an easy going, funny guy who likes to have fun."
Okay, what's wrong with the intro to this online dating profile? Answer: What isn't wrong with this intro? Never let a woman know you're desperate or vulnerable. When has that ever worked?! If you haven't figured it out by now, women don't find either of those traits sexy (nor do men, but we're much more forgiving about this trait).
By saying, "I can't believe I'm doing this..." you've just told every woman that reads your profile that you're desperateby your own standards. And that's because you feel desperate, but everyone else dating online is just as desperate—or else they wouldn't be doing it.
And by saying, "...but here goes." you've just told her you're feeling a little self-conscious. Again, not sexy. Confidence: That's what woman find sexy.
Say something provocative or intriguing like, "I gave up my career in fire fighting to pursue my real passion: massage therapy. But while I work my way through massage school, I'm working as a [your real career here].
Online Dating Tip #5: Don't lie about anything you can't pull off for at least three dates.
Women can be a bit leery about a first date with a guy she has met online. It's too easy to be fooled. So, it may take a few dates to get her clothes off. You should probably scale your lies accordingly.
Online Dating Tip #6: Don't Brag
Bragging is a turn off—a big turn off. It's fine to disclose facts about yourself, but you shouldn't do it to the point that it comes off as arrogant. If you have a quality that women seek, whether it's physical, career, or otherwise, don't mention it over and over again. Just say it onceif at all. Bragging just makes you sound insecure.
Also, don't tell people how good-looking you are. They can figure that out from your photo (duh).
Online Dating Tip #7: Use good photos...but not too good.
There's a lot that can be said about photos and how to use them. First, make sure you include photos. You will get a lot more responses if you include one. But don't use photos that are so good that they don't even look like you. That would be considered a violation of Tip # 5: a lie that you can't pull off for at least three dates.
Here's what you should do: Get a bunch of photos together and show them to some friends who happen to be girls. Have them rate each photo on a scale of 1 - 5. Use all the photos that score within the top 80 percent. Girls will be able to tell you what women will like much better than you could do on your own.
But don't just look at these as photos to show off your good looks. It's also an opportunity to leave women with other impressions, such as being fun or adventurous. Use the setting of the photos to communicate those traits. If you're well-traveled, pick a few photos from some of your trips to exotic places. If you're a rugged outdoor guy, use a picture from a recent rock-climbing expeditions.
Unlike bars and parties, with online dating you don't have to be good at thinking on your feet. You have the opportunity to craft your approach to portray yourself in the best possible light. There are thousands of average guys out there vying for attractive women. Give yourself the upper hand by following these seven tips.